These thoughts wrote themselves and are so meaningful to me today as I ran across them in my customary annual reading thru of past journal entries and reflection. I had just lost the love of my life, moved to a different state where my family was anyway, and had no clue that it would take nearly 5 years to see my writing come to fruition. Since I just blogged about letting go and resistance the other day, I thought I would share where I was with this in 2002.
In order for me to be an integral part of my journey, I must allow myself to move. Whether it be forward, backward, sideways or in circles— my journey in this life will remain stagnant without movement. Movement, however, is impossible when trapped within the confines of the mind. The spirit requires movement while the mind keeps the spirit from moving. The mind creates traps, and also provides an illusion of movement for the body to process. This misperception by the brain keeps the reflective, thoughtful person’s spirit trapped within it and unable to move.
The spirit must guide the movement for it to really be. My brain has been my guide and my spirit has been trapped and desperately seeking a way out. Although attempting to move both cognitively and physically, I have not allowed my spirit to guide my movement. In order for me to do so, my mind must become less insistent upon taking the lead. The mind is as essential as the body in moving through my journey—-the health of both being critical. With a chaotic mind comes a paralyzed body, thus a trapped spirit.
Letting go of the need to control the journey will allow for movement and participation in the journey. Allowing the flow of events, relationships, etc., etc., to flow as they would anyway without my intervention. Releasing my spirit from the trap will require allowing my body and mind to heal the wounds, let go of the pain and fear-based defenses. These defenses, that were unconsciously designed to protect me, have rendered my spirit motionless.
I must allow myself to be included in my journey and stop resisting the natural order of things. I must let my spirit free and allow it to guide movement.
Tawny H. Swain Castle written 3/30/2002