Sharing the lessons along the way…

Still Surrendering…


This has been one of the craziest years on record for me.  I set the intention for 2011 to be the year of self-care and balance. 

I lovingly referred to it as the year of the double “I” at the end of 2010.  I had no idea that self-care would involve a team of committed friends.  But boy did it ever…

As I have written about in previous blogs, my friends took turns with different tasks and somehow managed to keep me in clean clothes and clean sheets. 

They kept my dogs walked, my lawn mowed, my carpet vacuumed and various other tasks that allowed me to cope as well as I could with one health crisis after another.  They helped me to emotionally cope along the way and in some really creative ways!

I could go on and on about my wonderful support system, and have in previous blogs, but for this blog, I want to share what I have learned through this beautiful group of humans since that is what this space is designed for me to do.

You may remember the “I Consciously Surrender”  blog that I wrote the week before the first surgery of 2011. 

Perhaps that blog was the introduction to the unfolding chapter of this year.  At a minimum, it could have been a clue!

The point of that particular blog in March was that I consciously surrendered without being in a situation that was forced. 

I have a long history of surrendering to assistance when it has become my only option, so I was proud that I was conscious and willing.  I believe the combination of conscious (aware) and willing is significant.

Throughout the year, there were repeated opportunities provided to practice this all-important lesson as my body struggled with the surgeries and the new pump placement. 

Just in case I didn’t get it in March, and I don’t think I did, I got to test it out more all year. 

I have to tell ya that it was still uncomfortable.

As recently as yesterday, I had another opportunity to do it a little bit better.  I have to presume that with more practice, it will feel less uncomfortable, so I will let you know as I continue to work on being a willing recipient when necessary.

When we consciously choose and allow the universe to bring humans to fill our lives, we are able to develop a support network where everyone helps everyone else in times of need. 

I believe this is often referred to as a community, which was a foreign concept to me for a few decades.  I finally got that lesson as one of the gifts from my dogs and my illness.

The part of that lesson that involves consciously allowing myself to need the help and to be open to receiving it has been my ongoing challenge since then. 

If one lesson stands out to me so far, as I reflect on 2011, it is this one.  I really am not good at it and need to get better.

It is said that when the student is ready, the teacher appears.  In my life, when I have been ready to learn something new and grow more, the lesson appears and appears again, and again.  I reckon I was very ready.

What theme has repeated itself to you in 2011 and is trying to get your attention to do something differently?  How consciously willing are you to receive what you need? 

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