In late 2009, I knew that there were some big changes coming down the pike for my life and the lives of a few of my friends.
I welcomed them before fully understanding what they might be because at that point, it was exciting.
Early in 2010, these changes were occurring and it was exciting. I was actively creating, but by the middle of the year, it was no longer as exciting for me because that was when the accident happened with my pump.
At that time and for the following six months, I lived in fear of what life would look like without the pump.
These were not the types of changes I had envisioned.
As I healed from the first surgery in September of 2010, I learned about impermanence on a deeper level than I had when I learned it at the onset of the illness.
As I healed from that surgery by early in 2011, I was ready to get back on track to the original path. I had rejoined my life and was actively creating what happens next.
Two more surgeries later before March 2011 was half over seemed to veer me off the path once again.
Or did it? Through those, I learned important lessons about working with fear in that life without the pump wasn’t nearly as scary as I had made it out to be in my mind. I learned about balancing the power of the present moment, more about impermanence and more about gratitude, love and compassion.
I was eager to get back on the path and back to the business of creating what happens next, but my body was not cooperative.
I had made some very necessary adaptations to work within the bounds of my body, the illness symptoms, and the pain from the surgeries.
The original path still eluded me because then, there were complications from those three surgeries that required a fourth by the fall of 2011.
All I kept thinking was how much time I was losing during this process. I couldn’t see through the ridiculous pain that I was learning even more valuable lessons.
Even up until a couple of months ago, I knew it, but I couldn’t quite grasp it.
I learned more about the importance of a sense of community, what support really means and how valuable it can be.
I learned more about the importance of finding the lessons and growth in any experience.
After all of that, a depressive episode and many other relatively negative experiences, I have an even larger perspective of the original path than I could have had prior.
I am far more open to any experience than I was before and I pretty much lived my life with the attitude of having nothing to lose before.
Could I have learned all of these lessons in a different way? I absolutely believe I eventually would have, but I did have the opportunity to learn them quickly and I have to count that as a blessing.
I say that because the original path I envisioned has expanded as much as my perspective has.
Now, I not only have a say in what happens from here, but I believe I can also create more than what my limited imagination could have without the lessons having happened so quickly.
I share all of this because I needed to illustrate what it looks like to rewrite a life story on a completely different level.
As I rewrite my own last chapter of my life story with new and different perspective, I take away the emotional attachment I have to that story (particularly the negative parts of the story).
It is the only way to truly move forward without issues from that part of the chapter of my life story invading what I choose to create next. I may choose to start that chapter over all together. We all can do this anytime we choose!