The past few months have been full of transitions. Because it isn’t often that each area of my life is so dramatically affected, it has caused me to pause.
I have taken advantage, am grateful for this opportunity, and have been sharing part of it with you along the way.
As promised the last time we were together, I want to share my process for looking inside of those older boxes.
These boxes have within them beliefs that are long-standing and crystallized into how we behave, perceive and operate in our lives.
These are the ones that operate under the surface and of which we are not very conscious or aware.
These are the boxes lurking beneath all of the others that we can truly believe we have already taken care of somewhere else in our growth process.
Ironically, these boxes become obstacles and saboteurs in our growth when we choose not to look at them when life’s circumstances prompt us to look. We literally view our lives from the inside of a box.
Let’s go ahead and use the example that I left you with last time because it illustrates nicely how this box analogy has evolved for me.The box I stumbled upon held this belief: Being vulnerable and needy is bad.
Early in the rapid onset of my PLS was not the first time I had been prompted to look at this box, nor was it the last.
The most recent time was in the past year with the four surgeries.
Because I was aware of the contents of this box and this particular belief, I thought I had taken note enough to act as if I was working on it.
It was a half-assed effort and the core idea still permeated everything I did in the name of “independence.”
What made the last year different from the previous times I was prompted to take out this box?
1. I consciously and deliberately went to the box.
2. I surrendered to the idea that my initial belief was wrong.
3. I acknowledged that the beliefs within this box were rooted in fear.
My prior universal prompts to this box were forced.
I had never simply gone there on purpose when it appeared it was necessary to do so.
I knew my belief was probably wrong before, but I had never surrendered to that truth.
Fairly recently, I realized that most all (if not all) of my long-standing beliefs are based in fear: fear of rejection, abandonment, failure, success, etc.
Fear seems to give us permission to hold tightly to just about anything. It makes us wrap the boxes back up and put them quickly back away.
My belief that being needy and vulnerable is bad was rooted in fear. How did I figure that out?
I asked myself a simple question: What did I have to lose by being needy or vulnerable?
Until I consciously surrendered, the answer most of my life was “everything!”
More specifically, my answers were related to how others would view me, how I would view me, and the loss of independence. But honestly, I was afraid of being hurt.
To me, being vulnerable and needing someone’s help meant that I was opening myself up for being disappointed, taken advantage of or hurt.
Each answer I could justify, but as you can perhaps see, the bottom line is fear.
The truth is, if we are in need and feeling vulnerable, we have little to lose by reaching out.
We may still be needy and vulnerable if we reach out to inappropriate people, but we have not lost anything really.This process can be used for any of your boxes if you choose.
Fear has bubble-wrapped most all of my long-standing beliefs in each of my boxes so far.
Fear has also kept me from viewing boxes at all, which is why the universe kept providing me with more opportunities to look.These opportunities are choice points. We can heal wounds that generated the beliefs and continue to move forward.
Fear can actually help us in this process and the next time we are together, I want to share more about my cooperative efforts with fear over the past year.
Until then, keep your eyes and heart open for opportunities to at least begin to play around with the bubble-wrap!