Sharing the lessons along the way…

Fear: Curtain Call

It is always my hope that you may take something from what I write to help you in your own journey.  I am certainly always reaping the benefits of what I write, and love having the opporunity to share it with you! 

As the curtain begins to close on Fear to end this series, I would like to recap what we have learned about Fear to pull it all together.

  1. Fear is present when we give someone or something our personal power.  You can begin to notice when this occurs by thoughts like, “I would never be happy without _____.”  Remember that you have the power to create what happens next in your life—that power is inside you, not outside of you.
  2. Fear is present when we develop unhealthy attachments to things, places or people.  You can hone your awareness of attachments by noticing thoughts like, “____ is my reason for getting up in the mornings.” Or “I feel whole because of _____.”  Change and impermanence are the “givens” in this life.  You are already whole and believe it or not, you are physiologically programmed to wake up each day without an external reason.
  3. Fear is not present when we are present.  If we are fully present in the moment, right now, there is no room (or purpose) for fear.  Try to remember a time when you were so engrossed in an activity that you lost track of time.  Create your life so that it revolves around more of these activities!
  4. Fear serves a purpose in our lives and can be our ally.  By paying attention to whatever fear is saying to you, you can better understand it, and therefore better understand yourself.  We cannot better understand anything without first taking the time to look at it and be with it.
  5. Fear loses its power over us when we can look at it through the eyes of love and compassion.  This is a process, so perhaps start with a smaller goal.  Try making it your goal for an hour or a day to send love to the things or people in your life that annoy you.  See how this can become automatic after some practice, and then work your way back to Fear from there.

I cannot tell you how thankful I am to have you to share in this process.  This series, as well as my Box series, has been quite the catalyst for me in my own life. 

The visualization exercise I shared is how I experienced it.  I decided to take time to write Fear a letter with my own list of questions after Act III tried to keep it simple, so that your mind could fill in the rest of the details.  The general scene and conversation that took place was how it unfolded for me.

When my first fearful memory came right to mind, and then when Fear shared with me that she had been there for me because I needed her, it truly was transforming for me.  My perception shifted more fully to having a collaborative relationship with Fear.  So much so, that I decided to do the same type of exercise with my pain–perhaps I will share that with you as well, although pain and fear seem to be kissing cousins and it might be a bit redundant.

If you couldn’t find 10 minutes or were too anxious to try the Intermission activity, not to worry, it will be in cyberspace for you when you feel you are ready.  It is my gift to you because the experience was indeed a gift I was ready to receive. 

As Fear takes a bow and exits stage left, please feel free to share your experiences, thoughts, questions or struggles about this Fear Series in the comments below. 



Comments on: "Fear: Curtain Call" (4)

  1. Hi Tawny,
    I found the Fear series to be very enlightening and, when doing the meditative tea time exercise, realized almost instantaneously that my first encounter with fear was at the age of one when I was hospitalized and felt so abandoned by my mother when she left me there. Although I didn’t realize it, that fear ultimately became my friend and helped me to confront and overcome poor health and not give it access to my life when unnecessary. I might still be working on the abandonment part 🙂


    • Hi Melody,
      Thank you for sharing here how the Intermission exercise went for you. I am happy to hear it unfolded for you in a similar way that it did for me, and applaud your openness to experience it! I would venture to guess that most all of us have (or have had to work on) the fear of abandonment, but how cool that you now know exactly when yours developed. 🙂 That is awesome! Perhaps that fear also has served a purpose in your life. My abandonment fears would manifest in perfectionism, people pleasing, needing to be needed, etc. I believed those behaviors would prevent me from being abandoned. Of course we are the only ones who can really abandon ourselves now, aren’t we?

      I appreciate your support for me and my blog and really appreciate the comment here. xo


  2. Tawny, you certainly saved the best until last. Loved this series.


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