Oh boy has it been a trying week for me! Anyone else?
I moved in and out of having perspective all week, but it all came fully into perspective this afternoon.
My therapy dog and I were talking with a client (well, I was, Duke wasn’t talking) about a book I loaned him. I was eager to hear about what he had learned from reading it so far, as he was nearing the end of it.
He and I have had many conversations about resisting what is, surrendering and changing perspective, so I thought loaning him Neale Donald Walsh’s When Everything Changes, Change Everything, might help.
The basic gist of the book is that all change is good, and that by detaching from the emotion of the situations and events in our lives, we can find this perspective. In removing the emotional attachment, we can then shift our perspective long enough to find the opportunity for growth.
This was essentially the gist he shared as well, but the illustration this intelligent and insightful man used allowed me to gain a different valuable perspective for my own troubling situation.
He likened his resistance to certain systems and rules to a wall that he repeatedly ran into over and over again. One upright palm of a hand was the wall and the other hand just kept running into the hand as he kept talking. These rules and regulations were the same for everyone and his repeated running up against the wall believing he was the exception to them was futile, he now realized.
His righteous anger and frustration was all about his adamant belief that he was right and the victim of such concrete rules. It was him against them. He realized now that this was only in his own mind and that these systems were in place to try to help him.
He had been too emotionally attached/involved in his troubling situation to find the insight before the last couple of weeks. Once he saw it so clearly, he was able to shift his behavior accordingly, and I could really tell his anger had dissipated as a result.
What I didn’t share with him was that his insight was just as valuable to me as it was to him.
His beliefs and ultimate perception of the situation is what led him to continue to run into this wall over and over again. Once he realized that it really wasn’t personal and that it wasn’t all about his victimization, he was able to let go and move forward.
While I have worked diligently in my own situation to stay out of the victim role, I have struggled in my efforts to remove the emotional attachment. I have still felt that I was right and they are wrong, and that an exception should be made for my more complicated situation, which is probably the part of what he said that really got my attention.
Three days ago, I finally surrendered to the idea that I have truly done all that is humanly possible to change my situation. All that I can do now is let it go and deal with whatever comes next, as it comes.
What is the wall of resistance in your own life? What will you do to start tearing it down?
- Fear Twice Reflected (thetawny.wordpress.com)