Happy last day of January 2013! I last left you with a post about being out of balance. I am not sure there has ever been a time when I have known I was out of balance, took too long to do what I needed to do to get back into balance, and didn’t end up catching whatever germ was going around.
My body tried to tell me. I tried to listen, but I didn’t take action soon enough to avoid being overtaken by the many germs and viruses out there.
Sitting here with a secondary upper respiratory infection from the flu, I am looking to see where I could have averted being sick. I want to say that I had no choice but to continue doing all the things I was doing each week, but in truth, I am sure I did.
The problem was that I didn’t want to make the choices. I wanted the choices to make themselves because I wasn’t ready to make them. I can certainly recall numerous times in my life where this has been the case, so now that it has my attention again, I think I want to look further into this pattern.
The best way I know to look further into a behavioral pattern is to figure out what motivates it to begin with. To do that I have decided to ask myself to honestly answer a list of questions:
- Did I not want to make the choice because I didn’t want to disappoint someone?
- Did I not want to make the choice because I was resisting it? If so, what am I resisting?
- Was there a clear choice to be made or was there a lot of gray area involved?
- Did my “It’ll all work out tomorrow” mindset trip me up again?
- Where is the fear coming from and what can I learn from it?
After looking at this situation specifically, I have to follow up and ask:
- How is this relatively minor situation similar to some of the larger situations in my life where I have wanted the choices to make themselves?
- What timely choice would have begun to restore the balance I had lost?
Fortunately, my consequences for my lack of timely decision-making are small. In the past, the consequences have packed much more of a punch.
Anyone else out there repeating a similar pattern? How often do we hear stories of folks staying in jobs because they won’t make a decision about leaving it? Or how often do we hear stories about people in relationships because they don’t want to be the one to end it?
I am fairly convinced that I am not the only one wishing some decisions would make themselves and I would love to hear how you manage those. Do share!
- I Had No Choice (brucelaister.wordpress.com)