My brain has not stopped trying to figure out a better way up those stairs at the Homeless Emergency Project (HEP) since my freak out day last Friday. On Monday, I got to the top out of breath and sweating because I pulled my entire lower body up with my upper body using the railing. I wasn’t sure what I would try today until it was time to do Duke’s treat rounds, but it wouldn’t be that.
Duke was excited to get upstairs, so I did not have much time to really “think” through what I might try on this trip. Instead, I just kept walking with the cane as I was doing on flat land because Duke had already started his ascent.
Without thinking, and being fully present, I used the cane only for leverage when it was my left foot’s turn to move my right one to the next step. I didn’t have the chance to grab either railing and didn’t bother once I noticed it was working just fine without it. It felt like I had done such a thing with ease for as long as I had taken the stairs.
I was not sweating or panting when Duke and I walked through the door to the second floor. There was no thinking, just doing. I figured out the way I needed to walk with the cane on flat land the same way. I just waited until it seemed like I needed the cane to push me forward and used it to do so.
It has taken me two weeks to trust the cane and to allow it to do the work. This isn’t unlike the lesson I learned about the paintbrush back when I lived at HEP. A former client of mine always coached me, “Let the tool do the work.” Today, I guess that is exactly what I did.
It was a great reminder to use the tools I have and to trust that those tools will get me where I am trying to go. It also was a reminder that I can figure out a way to do something if I just keep trying to do it differently. Not at all shabby for a Wednesday, huh?
- Toilet Paper Towers, Big Girl Panties, Etc. (thetawny.wordpress.com)