I will admit that I have some memory issues. I often lose my car at the grocery store and am always looking for something I cannot remember where I put—keys, coffee cups, etc. But, those are pretty minor, absent-minded professor-ish memory issues.
What cracks me up about my memory the most is how I forget from one day to the next how challenging something is. I am not sure what part of “Walking was HARD.” that I seemed to forget from Thursday to Friday.
It is almost as if I erase how hard it was from my memory, and somehow convince myself it couldn’t have been as hard as it felt. I don’t think this memory loss is always a negative, but it often doesn’t serve me well.
I felt confident that walking around the Homeless Emergency Project (HEP) with Duke would not be that big of a deal, or at least it wouldn’t be like taking both dogs for a walk.
I got there, parked in the handicap parking spot and decided which direction to go first.
Point A to point B seemed to be miles, rather than yards. It felt like cars could have lapped the block in the time it took to cross the street. Once I sat down, I didn’t want to get up—and I didn’t until I absolutely had to.
Fortunately, that works for most of our time at HEP, but then I have to use the bathroom, get more water for me and Duke, and Duke likes to make his rounds.
I found myself wishing I had done what I had planned to do Thursday when the hard part about walking was fresh in my mind. I was going to put the manual wheelchair in the car for HEP just in case it made more sense to use it.
But I didn’t.
And I wished I had.
It definitely made more sense to have used it. Duke would have gotten to pee on more bushes and get more loves from more clients if I had.
The whole point of assistive equipment (walkers, wheelchairs, etc.) is to remove the limitations that mobility issues create. They are designed to increase independence and freedom of movement. I am not sure what part of any of that I forgot.
When it was just about me and the dogs, I couldn’t make the decision about taking the power wheelchair out for our walk yesterday. I could rationalize that for one day. At HEP, I realized I wasn’t just limiting my movement and Duke’s.
I was taking away opportunities for Duke and I to do what Duke and I are there to do.
Well, that isn’t ok with me.
I am sharing it with you so that I can come back to read it again when my memory fades again.
Anyone else out there “forget” such things and it ends up limiting you?
- Storms, Decisions and Wheelchairs (thetawny.wordpress.com)