My favorite part about having a plan is that I will carry it out regardless of how anxious I am about doing it. Particularly if I have a spare back up plan or two.
One of these weeks, I might actually have to use one of my back up plans and I honestly thought today might be that day.
The plan was to go to work at the Homeless Emergency Project (HEP), just like last week, with similar backup plans as last week. While I did not intend to not do that, a night full of muscle spasms and morning full of more clonus made the thought of it scary.
I took the dogs for our walk and roll, like usual. I stretched, rode my exercise bike and continued to get Duke and me ready to go. My legs were doing a bit of an unsteady jerky movement as I moved about my house.
Each time I would start to feel my heart rate go up at the thoughts of what this means, I would slow down, take a few deep breaths and continue.
Pressing on the brake and gas pedal was ok, so I texted my friend that Duke and I heading to HEP. I decided I would continue using the cane even though I noticed it was taking much more forearm, wrist and hand muscle strength the farther we went.
Within the first hour, I traded out the new cane I bought Friday for a different cane because I swore it was the cane causing my arm, wrist and hand pain. It looked like a cane swap-meet, as everyone who was sitting out there with Duke and I brought out their different canes for me to try.
I continued to amble around HEP’s campus—farther than I had intended going– from air-conditioned spot to air-conditioned spot. I did go up the stairs, which didn’t seem that much different, except that I had to pay more attention to make sure my feet were clearing each step.
Going down used to be the easiest part. Yesterday, that was more challenging, but am I sure by Monday I will have figured that out.
It probably was not the cane, although the handle on my bartered one is better to push off from. It is more likely the need to make the cane do the work of at least one leg that was the issue. I will have to figure that out more once my wrist recovers from the day.
After all that walking around in the heat of the afternoon, I wasn’t sure how that gas pedal/brake thing was going to go, but my friend was on standby. It was not great, but it was do-able enough to safely get Duke and I the two miles home.
No need to worry, I wouldn’t dare put Duke or anyone else’s life in jeopardy with my driving—I would have gladly called my friend to come and get us.
For me, it is having a plan (and several backups) that helps me to move through the most anxious of times. Always keep a spare handy.
- Seriously?! I forgot?! (thetawny.wordpress.com)
- Stairs are NO match for The Tawny (thetawny.wordpress.com)