Ideally, the days before a surgery should probably be a peaceful, relaxing time. It promotes faster healing to be in a calm state leading up to the day.
Last night, I was not really having that experience. I felt like I was racing against the clock to get my house in order, get enough stocked in the house for company helping me afterwards, and various other tasks that I don’t feel like I have time to get done. And I apparently believe I am the only one who can do them.
As I sat there grading my students’ assignments, I was distracted. I was irritated at the new curriculum and frustrated at the increase of time it was taking me to help my students learn the materials.
Because I was distracted and frustrated, my level of irritation rose higher than it needed to because I became the victim of—get this—the new curriculum. Are you serious?!
This is what I picked to feel like a victim—the curriculum? Ha! I realized it as I was staring and grumbling at a blank page that had no words. The words that did find their way to the page reminded me that I can often be ridiculous when I am trying to avoid the real issues.
I decided that my frustration with the assignments is more about the fact that they aren’t finished yet and I am very tired. I have a lot on my plate so I am often told lately, so maybe I can cut myself a little slack.
By the time I finished, I also let go of the expectation that everything will be in order before Thursday morning. Actually, I decided it didn’t matter at all. If it bothers you when you come to help or to visit, then you can take care of it!