While it is hard to tell for sure, I think the burning torso has come back. I can’t quite attribute all the burning pain to the three incisions at this point. What this means to me is that it is going to take more time for that area of my back to recover from the trauma. The return of this pain could have freaked me out, but I had a talk with myself about it.
I was hopeful this letter wouldn’t be necessary, but it seems you could use some reminders of things you already know.
You forget the amount of trauma that your body has been through in the past three years. Since your Codman pump was dislodged in 2010, you have lived in pain. Your body has had five surgeries, along with the repeated trauma of the new pump’s hardware to endure.
After all the heroic efforts to keep a pump, regardless of the consequences to your body, you finally decided to let it go. You know in your gut that it was the right decision to give your body the best chance at healing.
The pump and its hardware have only been gone for ten days.
Your body will heal from all the trauma. It knows how. Your only job is to give it a suitable environment. Just so you know, being frustrated and agitated about not being able to do more yet doesn’t make for suitable conditions for healing.
There really is no rush, regardless of how it feels to you in this moment. It may be a while before you really know how your back and stomach are going to feel without a pump. In the meantime, you do what you can.
This is an opportunity for you to apply everything you have learned about cooperating with your body in the healing process–for your pump trauma healing and for your illness. Behind every challenge is opportunity.
Focus on the opportunity, not the challenge. There are many opportunities for growth and healing all wrapped up in this one event in your life.
In the bigger scheme of your life’s experiences so far, this surgery recovery is easy stuff.
You’ve got this!