Sharing the lessons along the way…

Comfort Me.

Comfort Me.

It isn’t just any blanket, it’s a clean, soft blanket.  It isn’t just any pillow, but my pillow.  My dog Duke prefers the softest blanket in the house and he is a blanket hog.  My dog Amore prefers to turn the bed down himself and lie on my pillow while I am away.

Comfort for them is pretty simple.  If it is me, if it is mine, then they are comforted.  Comfort for me isn’t that much more complicated.

I do prefer the softest blanket and the pillow that I have broken in myself.  I prefer soft and comfortable clothes.  I prefer kinder, softer spoken words and a softer touch.  I find comfort in knowledge.  I find comfort in simplifying what is complex.  I prefer simple.

If my world becomes complicated or convoluted, now I almost instinctively back up a few paces to figure out how that happened.  For ten years, simplicity has reigned.  Prior to that, making things more complicated seemed to be my modus operandi.

My favorite excuse to myself about how un-simple and un-comfortable my world was that I had no control over it.  Now I have a better understanding of how much control I have over how I manage my time, my energy, and my life.

Feeling empowered brings me comfort, no matter how many big and little things outside of me I have no control over.  I know that I can find comfort in shifting how I view all of that.  I know that I can find comfort in the middle of pain, disability, drama and chaos.

It might take some work, but I believe I can do it.  I have done it, and that is what empowers me to trust that I can do it again right now in my current situation.

I find great comfort in that.  That comfort is what has helped me get through each day with my illness symptoms, with the pain from it, and from more recent pain caused by the latest intrathecal baclofen pump.

The last baclofen pump situation became so convoluted that I finally simplified it by having it removed.  I was prepared for the possible complications that not having the intrathecal baclofen would pose to my life, and even simplified that by creating a plan.

I find comfort in having a plan of action too.

Where do you find your comfort?


Comments on: "Comfort Me." (2)

  1. It sounds like some of your comfort comes from changing the scale of what needs to be known and then knowing that level as well as possible.

    I wish I knew better where my comfort comes from, because I’d go there and load up! As it is, I know that my discomfort comes from waiting for known scary things to happen and wondering what unknown scary things will happen. Maybe comfort comes in choosing the opposite of what causes discomfort. Is that it?


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