Sharing the lessons along the way…

I am not a clown!


Juggling on a Tall Unicycle

Juggling on a Tall Unicycle (Photo credit: theclyde)

It isn’t until there is that one more trivial thing to deal with that I realize just how much is happening in my life lately.  I often feel like I am constantly juggling it all, and not very well.

I am trying to manage my emotions to stay relatively sane, managing medications of my own and my dogs’, managing household things, tending to my physical health, my dogs’ physical health, blah blah blah.

Generally, I do well, but when there something extra is thrown in, I sometimes feel like all of those white and red oversized pins I am juggling fall crashing to the floor making an awful noise.  Not one by one in the order they were being juggled, but all at once.

In those moments, tears fall at the slightest provocation, and they don’t stop until they are finished.

I pick up the pins and start juggling again.

Thursday, I all of the pins came crashing to the floor.  I didn’t know it was coming, so I was startled when I was suddenly in tears over getting the time wrong for an event.

My friend asked through our text messages if I was ok.  Well, I didn’t know I wasn’t ok until the tears were streaming, but clearly I was not ok.  I replied something about juggling and losing.  Her reply was simply, “Juggling is for the clowns!”

Later in the day, she reminded me that I was not a clown.

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Comments on: "I am not a clown!" (4)

  1. It’s not always true, but I think crying sometimes means you’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing: feeling something real. That said, I hope all your real feelings and tears come from cute puppy moments.

    • I think we are probably doing and being exactly what we are supposed to be doing, so you are probably right about that. I have noticed that I am better at being vulnerable, which means the tears come easier because I am not defending against them. Last week, I was just so tired I had no defenses against anything, but that’s another story. I too hope cute pup moments are the reasons for the tears that may or may not come this week!!

      Tears are purging for the body, and I can appreciate that when they come on my terms. Ha! In recent months, they have come at some interesting times.

      Hugs to you!

  2. Yes! You are not a clown. (I love that advice) Every once in awhile, drop the pins… and spin!

    • Not that there is anything wrong with being a clown, I should add. Spinning sounds like a great plan when they drop! Thank you for commenting darlin’! Hugs to you!!

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