It isn’t until there is that one more trivial thing to deal with that I realize just how much is happening in my life lately. I often feel like I am constantly juggling it all, and not very well.
I am trying to manage my emotions to stay relatively sane, managing medications of my own and my dogs’, managing household things, tending to my physical health, my dogs’ physical health, blah blah blah.
Generally, I do well, but when there something extra is thrown in, I sometimes feel like all of those white and red oversized pins I am juggling fall crashing to the floor making an awful noise. Not one by one in the order they were being juggled, but all at once.
In those moments, tears fall at the slightest provocation, and they don’t stop until they are finished.
I pick up the pins and start juggling again.
Thursday, I all of the pins came crashing to the floor. I didn’t know it was coming, so I was startled when I was suddenly in tears over getting the time wrong for an event.
My friend asked through our text messages if I was ok. Well, I didn’t know I wasn’t ok until the tears were streaming, but clearly I was not ok. I replied something about juggling and losing. Her reply was simply, “Juggling is for the clowns!”
Later in the day, she reminded me that I was not a clown.