Sharing the lessons along the way…

Just for this Week…


Trust

Well, it’s another Monday, another week, and another month.  I love a fresh start, wherever I can find them.  To me, the start of the new week brings so much opportunity to do better than last week.

Last week’s monkey wrenches and monsters took the wind out of my sails.  For a good part of the week, I felt trapped and defeated.  My plan was foiled, and I honestly didn’t know what to do.

It’s funny how in the vulnerability of moments like that, or days like that in the case of last week, opportunities to create a better plan can emerge.  Since I got the referral for physical and occupational therapy, I made an agreement with myself to be completely open and receptive to whatever they suggested.

There are parts of my plan that clearly are not working for me, so it only makes sense to do so.

The physical therapist Saturday said, “I really hope you think about conserving your energy.”  He had mentioned energy conservation many times during his evaluation of me, but his last words to me included a pause, intense eye contact, and a furrowed brow.

I had already realized that I was doing too much too soon, but it took two painful tendinitis situations to slow me down.  Having had so much pain for so long, the pain in my Achilles’ heel and wrist pain seemed like no big deal—until last week anyway.  I hardly honored my pain while walking everywhere, plus some with the cane.

Ironically, I spent much of the week stuck because I could not walk around without my cane.  You have to admit that being unable to walk because of my arm and wrist was somewhat funny.

I get it now though.  I don’t want to keep injuring myself by doing more than my body is prepared to do, so this week, I will take a figurative step back.

Reeling myself in when I feel good, is a difficult task.  There are a million things I want to do, need to do, and have to say no to doing.  Okay maybe not 1 million, but you know what I mean.

It probably took being unable to use my right hand and arm for me to get the point.  I have shared with you all about how much more energy my body is using when it is dealing with spasticity.

Apparently, sometimes I would like to believe that is not true, and think that I can do as much as I did when things were going so well with my Codman intrathecal baclofen pump.

I spent some time yesterday in a meeting with myself.  I realized during this meeting, that I am not really fully on board with the slowing down and backing up a bit with my rehabilitation.  The best I could do was to agree to be okay with it for this week.

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Comments on: "Just for this Week…" (4)

  1. It’s so painful to hit the realistic limit wall!

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