In the absence of pain, I want to do all the things I did not feel like doing for the past three years.
But I cannot.
Well, I could try to do them. To some degree, perhaps I have already been trying to do that, however, I realize that isn’t helping me get to where I am trying to go with my master rehabilitation plan.
I spent some time yesterday thinking about having to say no to things. I never mind saying no to things I don’t want to do, as a general rule. The problem is that I want to do many of the things that I’m having to say no to now.
Until my wrist heals, and I feel comfortable enough to walk out into the world just holding my cane, “no” is going to have to be a word I use more often. That means, whether I want to or not, I am going to have to choose my activities outside of work more carefully.
I want to believe that saying no more often is going to be a temporary situation. I want to be able to say yes in a couple of months to more work, and that really is the endgame for my rehabilitation plan. Better managing my energy will always be important, but it is very important right now.
This is the time of the year in Florida where being outside is delightful. There are art and music festivals, dog rescue events, concerts and movies outside, and all sorts of other fun things going on around me. It is difficult to choose among them even when mobility and energy aren’t issues. To add to my choices, the holidays are coming up as well.
Somehow, I have to become okay with the word “no.” Nevertheless, I have not yet been able to shift my perspective from feeling as if I am missing out, to being okay choosing to do whatever I have to do to take care of myself and my body.
For now, I think that my criteria for choosing will revolve around logistics. If it is going to take a lot of mobility, then I may have to opt out of going. For example, a very crowded area that I can’t navigate through using a walker.
My goal this week is to work on changing my view of saying no. I want to be okay about “being,” rather than “doing.” My work and my rehabilitation plan come first for now.
- Left-handed, Brain-fried and Grateful (thetawny.wordpress.com)