Last year, I shared with you my Birthday wish. I wished that we would all move one step closer to love and one step farther away from fear.
It was a lofty wish, really.
It was genuine, and it was an intention I set for myself for the year. How did I do?
If I look at the big picture, I certainly did move farther from fear from birthday to birthday. After all, I met my greatest fear of having the baclofen pump removed. I didn’t see that one as even a possibility when I made the wish 365 days ago.
My argument was that moving farther from fear would move me closer to being love. I still believe that is true. I can share more love when I am not consumed with fear of something than I can when I am not consumed.
Consumed with fear is not likely to look like you might first think. Consumed with fear includes worry, frustration and the inability to be present for any length of time. Any obsessive, compulsive thought process can suck the love right out of the moment.
If I am worried about what will happen because I haven’t gotten something important accomplished by a deadline, then I am in fear. That time spent in fear makes it very hard to enjoy whatever might be happening in that moment, right?
In that regard, I probably could have done much better than I have done from birthday to birthday.
Just the same, if I take the bigger picture and the smaller picture, and average the difference, I figure I still made some improvements moving farther away from fear and closer to love.
At 6:30 this morning, I turned 43. Even though I wanted to skip this birthday entirely, I have come around to the idea of the need to celebrate it (or at least allow others to celebrate it). I also think that acknowledging it gave me a moment to pause and reflect on my birthday wish from 2013 to see how I did.
Fortunately, it means that I have another year to make even more progress toward the birthday wish of 2013.
- Birthday Presence (thetawny.wordpress.com)