I sat with an open laptop on several occasions yesterday, but there were no words coming up on my screen. I certainly feel like I have a lot to say, and have a lot of words roaming around inside my head, but there were no words to put on the page.
I looked at the Daily Prompt and the Weekly Writing Challenge, but those didn’t seem to inspire me.
Instead of forcing it, I opted not to post anything yesterday.
Later in the evening, as thoughts were swirling around in my head, I understood why there were no words on the page.
There simply are things that I am unable to share. Not because I don’t want to, but because it isn’t all about me. I am censoring, and when I censor, I may as well put all writing aside until I don’t have to censor anymore because the words won’t come freely.
It is interesting to reflect on my writing processes over the years. It is exactly when the censoring starts in any area of my life, that I am sapped of my inspiration. It is as if the censoring itself zaps my energy, and I have no words. Even my journaling stopped during those times.
That, in and of itself, sends me a message about the nature of my censoring. If I am unable to write about it or anything else because of it, then I guess that tells me something.
Most bloggers censor. I probably censor some without really being aware of it, although my goal is to be as transparent as possible. I think when I am censoring on purpose because it is not appropriate to share my thoughts and feelings about something, I should probably take a look at that.
How much censoring does it take before you zap your creative energy? How much do you censor your words when you write? Do you force write anyway when the words don’t flow freely?