I have written a few things since my letter to Duke, but nothing that seemed “post-worthy” here. I babbled about feeling such gratitude for grieving with such a large number of people and how that made it suck just a little bit less. I wrote about randomness and Ruby and the empty spaces in my heart. I wrote about having a bit of a delayed grief reaction after being in control for a month, then a monsoon fell out of my eyes.
A few weeks ago, we had a tribute to Duke at the Homeless Empowerment Program with some of Duke’s favorite people that was so touching and so special for a variety of reasons, and I really wanted to share about it. I simply had no adequate words to convey adequately any emotion or thought I had about it.
Here is what I know now…
Every day, I get up and keep moving forward. Every day, I see others through the eyes of Duke. I have made major purchases with Ruby, have had fun and have laughed a lot. I have cried, with a sadness and longing that is palpable for Duke’s physical presence. And, I have realized that every day I get up is a tribute to Duke and Amore.
They taught me to live in the moment, love and love some more if for no other reason than I can, to have fun, to laugh A LOT, cry, feel whatever I am feeling, and move forward into the next moment. They taught me far more than that, but for now, if I am doing all of those on a daily basis, then I am honoring their memory.
For me, the commitment to those boys so many years ago at the Animal Control doesn’t end just because they are no longer physically here. The connection was so much more to us than just being a committed dog mom. The tribute will live on through me, Ruby, Koko and hopefully anyone and everyone else who was lucky enough to have learned life lessons from either of those silly boys.