I haven’t been in much of a hurry at all since I was stopped in my tracks and moving a maximum of 5 miles per hour in a motorized wheelchair. I was that hurried person before getting ill and found those folks a bit frustrating and insensitive in my slowed state.
In recent months (like this entire calendar year), it would appear that the universe isn’t comfortable with my comfort zone preference of a pace. Opportunities appear, I take them and run with them (figuratively of course) and before I know it, another opportunity appears to grow the first one, then another…
I am no longer stuck in the 5 miles per hour maximum speed of years ago. But I often feel pensive or reticent to do otherwise because it took so long to wrap my head around that speed in the first place. And have I ever unwrapped my head from it? Is that even possible once it has happened?
At the same time, I am aware that there is a beautifully synchronistic design to this life. Eleven or twelve years ago, I didn’t truly know it (or maybe I didn’t trust it). While reticent, I am going with the synchronistic flow of the opportunities and periodically sitting back and saying, “Holy Cow!” or “Whoa!” or something that conveys the message that I need to please slow this down a minute so I can catch up to it.
Maybe catching up to it is moot. The barriers to growth and expansion are quickly dissolving—except for that 5-mile an hour maximum Tawny thinking (which I am doing my best to override, but feel it is worth a mention).
It’s almost surreal to me to think about it as if I am not some character in someone else’s story line. Except that it isn’t someone else’s story line. It is mine. I can try to minimize it all I want, but I am fully aware in the core of my being the gravity of it. The gravity of it keeps me focused, keeps me grounded and keeps me moving forward.
Synchronicity happens (which would make a fabulous bumper sticker) and it would not if we were not fully prepared for it. I cannot imagine a story line that doesn’t have me fully prepared for whatever comes next, in whatever time frame, despite my reticence.
I am fully allowed to feel reticence or pensiveness during the process, but my preference would be to simply embrace all of it. It is happening as it is. It’s coming to fruition how it is coming, and there is no reason to stay in 5-mile an hour mode forever. If it is time to move faster, well then, I reckon I will have to move faster.