If you have read my blog for any length of time, you may be wondering how I can write 28 days in a row and mention nothing about illness or the status of my symptoms.
The thought really hadn’t occurred to me that it would be of any interest until last night after multiple people asked, “No, really, how are you doing?” after my first response of “Good” just didn’t seem to satisfy.
I make a conscious decision not to focus on my symptoms, and if I do, it is merely to figure out a way to better self-manage them so that I can continue focusing on the mission at hand. Focusing on them for any other reason simply doesn’t serve me.
Does that mean that I am not aware of what my body is experiencing? Of course not. Does not focusing on the symptoms make them magically not exist? No, but wouldn’t that be something!
All it really means is that I acknowledge each symptom as I go, and figure out a way (or many ways) to work around them to do what needs to be done. Working full-time this year has challenged my ability to manage my energy, maintain this level of mobility, manage pain, manage my emotions, work in time for physical therapy, and a myriad of other things.
Part of staying focused on my mission encompasses these things. Being able to better manage the illness, the residual issues from all the surgeries, and maintain balance with all of it, is the only way I can serve in the way I want to serve.
So, if you need to know specifics, I can oblige…
There is still burning nerve pain in my torso, there is still clonus and spasticity in my feet and legs, the neurogenic bladder and bowel are still with us, my feet and ankles hurt all the time from the tightness, the jaw clonus continues to create dental issues while I sleep…
That all being said, there is a list a bit longer of the things that I can do in spite of all of those things! It’s fine with me if you would like to focus on the list of positives and not the other stuff right alongside me!
Day 29…one to go! Yay Team Tiny Peppers!!