Sharing the lessons along the way…

Posts tagged ‘Fear Series’

The Tawny’s Top 10 List–Reader’s Choice

New Years's Eve Fireworks

New Years’s Eve Fireworks (Photo credit: c r i s)

Happy last day of 2012 to you! I am looking forward to sharing the lessons along the way that 2013 has to offer. Before we cross over from 2012, I want to share my top 10 viewed blogs from 2011 and 2012.

If you missed these, and want a snap shot of what The Tawny’s blog is all about, then this is the post for you.

In 2012, I shared a lot with you because I learned a lot. The most memorable posts for me included my Fear Series, which did not make the top five. If you are interested in moving away from fear in your life, I encourage you to check out this series. You can find it over to the right in the sidebar.

Here are the top 5 viewed posts in 2012:

1.  When I See You, I See Me  from November 2012
2.  Claiming Personal Power from March 2012
3.  Rewriting the Latest Story from March 2012
4.  It’s ALL Arbitrary from November 2012
5.  Feeling Boxed In? from April 2012

As you know if you follow my blog, 2011 was a challenging year. It would seem that the theme for 2011 was surrender and gratitude and you can see this reflected in the top five viewed posts below. My all-time favorite post remains You are My Star.  Here are the top five:

1.  Still Surrendering from December 2011
2.  You are My Star from June 2011
3.  I Consciously Surrender from March 2011
4.  If you only had 2 hours from July 2011
5.  Breaking Point? from October 2011

Each of my posts has significance to me or I would not have shared them with you. Thank you for continuing to read my blog!  What are your favorites so far? Do you have a top five? I would love to hear how a post has continued to affect your journey!

Onward to 2013 where more lessons and growth awaits us!


Fear Twice Reflected

HawkYesterday morning, a hawk came to visit me with a message.  Only twice has a hawk come to visit my yard, and both of those times someone else was here, so the message was most likely for them.  Given that I just had the epiphany about fear the night before, the following message added even more to my epiphany. 

Here is the gist of the message, as I understood it, after reviewing several sources on animal totems:I need to step back and get a larger perspective of a situation that has become so stressful for me.  I have let myself become too emotionally attached, and I am no longer the detached observer of my life.  This is the quote from the book Medicine Cards by Jamie Sams and David Carson that really got my attention:

  “When you allow your emotions to override your perceptions, the message from hawk cannot penetrate the chaos and confusion.  At this point, you are asked to be mindful of the honest observer’s neutral position, which allows the message to be intuitively and clearly understood, without emotion coloring its true meaning.”

What I realized as I read this information was that I have had fear visiting me, not just to remind me of my strength, but also to remind me that when I am emotionally attached to a person, place or situation, my perception/perspective of it becomes skewed.  This emotional attachment also seems to interfere with my ability to access my personal power

I didn’t get the connection between my emotional attachment and fear before quite like this when I wrote my Fear Series (Act II specifically).  If I am truly being a neutral observer, from a detached perspective, I am more empowered to deal with any situation that arises.  I will intuitively know what the next action is needed, even if that means surrendering entirely.

Detachment is an often misunderstood concept.  I used to misunderstand it myself.  If you are able to detach from a situation, then you are able to remove the emotion and see the situation for what it is, right now.  When we include emotion into our responses or reactions to situations, we are also attaching all of our past similar emotions based on similar experiences.  This is just how our brains work. 

To be present in the moment only with the situation, we have to detach to some degree.  Let me give you a simple example.  You are having a conversation with someone about something very important to you.  They interrupt you and begin to talk over you about something that relates to themselves.  You notice that your body is reacting—your face is flushing, you are hot, your heart is racing and your stomach sinks. 

This reaction is based on your past experiences with being invalidated, not being heard or something similar.  Your body may be reacting to the past, but if your mind is in the present, you can observe this physiological reaction and dissect it before saying or doing something you might regret later.

If you are present, you can see that you are reacting to the past.  You can recognize that you are associating this person and this present conversation with some hurtful ones from your past.  In order to observe it and work with it, you have to be detached.  When you are detached, you are present.  When you are detached, you are able to respond rather than react.  You notice what you notice, and without judging it, continue on to the next moment.

Detaching allows you to see your life from a more conscious and more accurate perspective.  Your perceptions and sensations are heightened, and you will find yourself less weighed down by your emotions and the past.  In hawk language, this allows you to fly above your life to see the bigger picture more clearly.

Hawk Fly OverThis concept of detachment used to be confusing because my past idea of it was associated with a lack of emotion.  I can assure you that nothing I do is devoid of emotion as I am a very emotional human being.  Removing an emotional attachment to some person, place or thing does not mean we feel nothing for it.  It means we aren’t consumed by it and that we can see it clearly without all of our past baggage, in spite of our feelings for it. 

Today, I had the opportunity to step away from this situation with some help from a friend.  I was able to shift my perspective just enough to remove some of the emotional attachment.  This made room for potentially creative solutions to the problem that had been clouded by the emotion.  In my next post, I will share more about that.   

In the meantime, tell me about your experiences with emotional attachments to people, places or things.  Did you see the fear connection before I did?

Fear Reflected

In my fear series, I talked about working cooperatively with fear.  To do this, when fear comes knocking on our door, I suggested we invite her inside for coffee or tea.  While having tea, I suggested we seek to better understand what fear has to tell us.

Working on my Tea Time with Fear guided imagery exercise for my blog provided me with a better understanding of the first time I met with fear.

Lately, fear has been knocking on my door quite frequently.  I believed I understood her.  I believed I knew why she was here.  Until today.  After all, I am the one who keeps suggesting we all work cooperatively with her.

Like the fears I shared with you when I wrote Lessons from the Pump, my current fear is rational.  I have reminded myself of the Fear Series. I am reminding myself how I came to the understanding that fear was here to help shed some light on my journey.

I am reminding myself that things go more smoothly when I surrender to what is, rather than resisting or fighting the is-ness.  I am reminding myself that I cannot lose the lessons I have learned throughout my journey with this illness.  Most of these lessons I have shared here in my blog, and just finished writing about in my manuscript.

Fear is my guest, and I have continued to be a gracious host and not a hostile one (most of the time, anyway).

This morning, I reminded myself that things can never be as bad as they once were.  I even wrote this on my bathroom mirror in red (honestly, it was the only dry erase marker I could find in the house).  I know this is true, but I do find reminders helpful.

My bathroom mirror!

This evening, as I washed my face and looked at these words written on my mirror, I asked again what possible purpose fear could be serving still here as my house guest.  Seriously, how much tea do we have to drink?!

My answer came in the form of a question:  What if fear is here to remind you of your strength?

Is that powerful to anyone else or is it just me?

Kitt O'Malley

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