It has been a year since you crossed over Rainbow Bridge, and I have done my best to honor your lessons and your legacy. I cannot lie and say that I didn’t spend some time feeling lost without you, but I did my best to keep moving forward no matter what was happening in my heart or in my world around me. I have off and on felt lost in the past year without your presence– in ways I cannot describe to humans who have not experienced their soul mate.
Your sister Ruby and I have bonded quite a bit since you’ve been gone, although she doesn’t seem to understand when I try to tell her about soul-mates. She has her own lessons to teach me and I have grown quite fond of her unique ways, as I try to discern exactly what those might be.
Some days, I am not sure I don’t need you to keep going. Some days, I am convinced that somehow you would know exactly what I should do next. Some days, I know you could help someone better than I can or even a whole team and I can. Other days, I feel confident that I am honoring everything you and your brother taught me over the years. Other days, I am encouraging those who knew you to do the same. Other days, I stay busy enough to not feel my heart aching quite as much.
At work, you are everywhere. A plaque hangs in the lobby and a stone hangs in your courtyard—both with your picture in remembrance of your service. Pictures of you are in my office and you will forever be in my Lightning Hero Award video. I started volunteering with Project PUP because you no longer can. Therapy dogs are at work nearly every day of the week because you cannot be.
I am certain I miss your presence more than anyone or anything else’s I have ever lost in this life so far. So much so, that I can hardly believe it on some of my bad days. I want you to know that I am doing my best to take care of your “guys” at work and encourage them to honor your service in the way that they treat themselves and others.
I trust that you and your brother are doing exactly what you most love to do over there, and I hope you have joined up with Maggie, Sadie, Zeus, and the many others you both helped to foster who have moved on from here.